I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
