I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize