Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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