im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he was CRYING into my vagina
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
