when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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