Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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