i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize