biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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