is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
