so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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