ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
