One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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