I just pynch a tree in the face
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got inside last night via doggy door
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
