Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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