The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
