is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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