I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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