I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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