I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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