So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
