Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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