i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
