The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
