Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
