Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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