I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize