Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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