we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
