I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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