Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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