Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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