Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
