I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
