Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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