She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm just crazy horny about you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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