i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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