Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
