That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
