This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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