U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
