Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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