He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
