Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
