Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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