hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will be naked everywhere
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
please don't ironically join a cult
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