when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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