he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
