I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize