I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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