I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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