when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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