I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
