i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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