his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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