Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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