At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
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They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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