You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
